Life is boring at times so I like to do silly things to escape.  

In high school,  my friends and I would sneak into theaters during the summers because we were broke kids.  

I was bored yesterday and I called up a friend and we went to the theaters to sneak in.   Mind you, I had 3 AMC Gold Tickets in my pocket that I could use and as well as that money in the bank.  This was purely for the thrill of things.  Movies are always better when they are free.  Even a shitty movie is pretty good when its free.  Its only when you have to pay 16 bucks for a movie that you really weigh if it was a complete waste of your time.  

I promise you this technique will work anywhere.   You ready?

Step 1:  You go straight through the entrance and you walk a little pass the guy working.  You tell him you just finished watching the movie "xyz" and you think you left your phone.  "Can I check real fast?"   This for sure should work, because this does happen all the time and because you walked pass him you arent really asking for permission as you are letting him know what you are about to do.

Step 2:  Now that you are in you walk to the side of the backdoor and you let your accomplices in.   

Step 3: This is an additional step and is kinda dirty, but you have to get 3d glasses from the recycling bin.  Next time I will come prepared and bring my own 3d glasses.  

Step 4: Enjoy awesome free movie and feel like a rebel at the age of 26.  :)

I understand this may not work everywhere because some places dont have side doors and they are monitored but we went on a Monday night and they usually don't pay for the extra security.   I know other people do the buy 3 tickets get 5 people in style, but that is no fun and is most efficient with odd numbers.  First 3 go in and then one person goes out with the 3 stubs to bring in the other 2.  

PS. Stealing is wrong.  My logic behind this is that I would not pay to watch the movie and since the seat is a timed good, it would have been expired if I was in the seat or not.   I therefore do not sneak in to movies during opening weeks because I am obviously taking a seat from another patron.   

I use to drink a lot in college and at the end of the night my favorite thing to do is to blog.  There is something liberating about writing with no sense of reluctance or worry or care of how your words will be perceived.

I am not drunk but I took 2 dosages of Nyquil.  One because I am sick and secondly I like the crazy dreams it give me.

Its not working. I am pausing in between thoughts.

I have this thing called the 2 year curse. I dont know if any of you have it as well, but my relationships usually only last 2 years.   My current gf and I am coming up on our 2 year anniversary.  She is the 4th consecutive 2 year relationship I have.  Our anniversary is this month on the 27th. I think we will last.  We should.  Sometimes I have self-sabotaging habits.   When things are going well, I think its too good to be true and I want to run away and start over from the beginning. AS if, I dont deserve the happiness that i Have worked for.  

Every 2 years as well I go through some kind of change. I feel this one coming. And I hate it. I know what I have to do to finally fully "grow up." THe days where I am a kid and playing video games and such all day are long and gone.  I was playing some video games the other day and my gf comes over into the the room and she reminds me "you are 26  years old."     But I know the things I want I dont ahve time to indulge all day like I did that day to play games.  

Other times I think people put too much emphasis on bf/gf.  We are dating. We arent married but people treat it that way.  There are phases and as you move forward... fawk it it doesnt matter. What I am really trying to say is the those other 3 girls.  They are no where to be found.   How is it that you want to marry each other at one point and then just end up as "strangers again." I value my friends more than anything. Not to say I don't love Becky and all she does and All she has me becoming, but her love is the kind of conditional love.  It is contingent if I am faithful and loyal to her and that one day I will marry her.  

MY friends, however, love me for me and they will be around regardless of any of my vices or who I choose to marry.  My arms of love reach far and because all I have done for others, I know they will be there for me for any number of my days.   So there are times .... you just need a little bit of hope, ya know.  

Not hoping in the wrong things that will never happen, like your job getting any better, or you breaking into some career you have always dreamed about but real hope.  I believe we lie to ourselves. We tell ourselves that something is around the corner when we know its not.  I need to hope in the right things. I need to smash some of my other delusions and truly focus on the things I am capable of pursuing.  

Are you still there? are you still with me?   Don't get me wrong I am happy. I am good. I have that time to think and I am thinking. I am working it out. I am on my way.  I hate wasting time and I hate losing people along the way. People that I have invested in.  Maybe those 3 invested in me and they are missing out.  Well here is to them for making me the man that I am.  THis girl.  THis girl that I am with. Becky.  She gets to enjoy the legacy product of the others.   Life is crazy. I am 26 and I act as if I were to die tomorrow.  

Still there? Thanks for reading.  i am on a verge of a six pack.  I am changing careers. I am not playing games anymore.  I am going to stop drinking until at least when I have landed another job.  I will start reading again.  and did i tell you.  I am on the verge of a six pack.    i will update pictures when i get there.  

If i get as sexy as nick, will someone buy me a shot?  Like really. If my abs look even semi like his, any ladies willing to take me out to lunch or something. Eff that. If my abs gett tehre Nick is goonna take me out!    

And its true behind every great man is a very strong woman.   I have no choice but to be great.  right?  

"are you ever jealous of those that are always on the way? They know what school they want to go to, what profession they want to be, and they are always on the right path?"

"yeah, I hate those people."

"I dont. I like the path i took.  It has allowed me to understand the human element more.   I think if i made it from point a to point b, i would think that that is all it took in this world to make it, hard work.  And that others around me were just lazy."

"and I wouldn't have moments like this and develop friendships with the people i have in this place."

"yeah, but you would be too busy enjoying the fruit of your success with another group of people."

"yeah, maybe.  but I like the people I am here with now."

We want to run this life to the good moments.  If only we can get to the next point, we will be happy.  You know that point when you "make it." But then what?   What do you do when you get there?  A lot of times you could be doing the same things you could be doing now.  

The joy is in the moments right now.  Here in this moment.  Those that miss it.  Don't miss Life.  

My grandma passed away Saturday morning.  

It was weird, because she lives in Vietnam with the other half of my aunts and uncles.  The majority of my grandparents died at a younger age, where I did not really know them so it was easy on my soul.   My grandma lived to 90 and I was able to visit her once when I was six and again when I was 22.   

I never spoke with her much but she loved me.  She loved me in a way I will one day understand but not today.  

This death was incredibly difficult because of web technology.  My father woke me up at 6 am and we set up a webcam with my dying grandmother. Somehow they knew she was about to past and they contacted my father to give him a moment to say his final goodbyes.  

The connection was faulty but there were moments when I could see my grandmother.  Her face was emaciated and she had been bed ridden for 3 days already.   They said she hadn't moved in the last 2 days, but she reacted to my father's voice.   My father said his final goodbyes and he cried.  My grandmother started to cry as well.  He said as he was moving his hands as if he was stroking her eyes closed, "Go now.  Everything is okay.  Your children have taken care of all the arrangements.  Go now.  You don't have to worry.  Go Now."  

The time was 9:50 am on our end when we hung up so everyone can go to sleep on their end.   Ten minutes after she passed away.   Somehow she was able to hold on to hear the last words of her children.   

I do not know what she means to me, my grandma.  I may never know.  I am of her lineage and she has sculpted my parents who have sculpted me.  Her legacy will live on, but I hope one day I will discover what all that truly means.

Watch over us Grandma.  Thank you for everything.  And let Dad live to 90 too. I would very much appreciate that.  Mom will be fine either way.  I fear she will live to 110.  

Scary stuff.  When you knock on doors?  Sometimes they open.  And then you are forced to come inside.  It would be rude not to. 

Simple economic concepts explain my current realities.

At times, my life feels like its caught in a loop and I have been working these years to breakthrough yet still not grasping the understanding or discipline it takes to make it.

Things are changing around me.  Friendships which were once natural now seem foreign. 

People are moving jobs, careers, countries, and I feel like I am here twiddling my thumbs.

These are the moments when life happens.  I live in the past more than I thought.  I am a spur of the moment, lets run with scissors, and your bf doesnt have to know kind of guy, but I reflect too much.  For an extroverted extrovert, I should not be blogging as much as I do.   

Time is limited and I guess that is why its exciting. We will die one day. There isn't enough time in the day to do everything we want so I guess that is where the value comes in. 

If I lived forever, I would probably be in college still.  Forget that.  I would be playing in the playgrounds of my elementary school passing cooties back in forth.   

Life changes and as it changes we are forced to progress.

All these random thoughts as incoherent as they sound are the ten simultaneous thoughts that are running through my head right now.  And the point of all this is I love holding my girlfriend in the morning.  It is my favorite part of the day.  I hold her at night, but I know I can hold her for the next six hours so it isn't as amazing to me.  It is the five minutes of the morning where she is completely knocked out still, whining that I am bothering her that makes my day.  I know I am limited in time and I would soon have to start my day and go to work, but in those five minutes in the early morning I have complete peace.  

Hakuna Matata.

Poll: In the Lion King, was Simba happy when he was living in exile with his Hakuna Matata buddies or was it superficial happiness and was only truly happy when he returned home with his family and fulfilled his role as king?

Sometimes I have responses that make no sense especially at work.

Boss: I wont be able to make the lunch with the customer.

Me: Perfect.

Boss: You mean you did not want me there in the first place.

Me: .... No.  (Think Think Think) I meant it would be a great lunch either way. I will handle it.

Boss:  Okay.  

I need to stop using filler words.  

"Sounds Great."
"Perfect."
"I Love You Too."
 

I wonder what kept Alexander the Great going.  What was in him that made him that wanted to control all the known world?

I hope I am not settling.

I took my CBEST on Saturday.  I passed the test with flying colors.  A high school student can pass that test.  I can officially be a substitute teacher. I will start applying this week and also apply to some small startups, and some hail marys into consulting. 

The Gods will decide where I will be.  

I went to Dolores Park for the first time.  It was amazingly pack. I think there was 1000 people there having their mini picnics and hang out. It was amazing.  I am definitely go back.

My friend came back into town and its been forever since I have seen her so I came up to see her.  MC and her friends had beer and so we just drank openly in a park and threw a frisbee around. It felt so great to be alive.  

There were so many people smoking weed and there were people walking around selling edibles.   It was so interesting.  There was so many people getting high everywhere.

I do enjoy hanging out and just enjoying the moment, but there is something about weed that I do not enjoy. I feel like when people are on it they are missing the moment.  They miss certain memories and do not get to take in all of the beauty of the moment.  

But maybe they are able to remain normal when they are medicated, like some people are able to be in the moment still when they are drunk.  I am not too sure though.  

Life is changing. Everyday.  Relationships change. Do you feel it?