June 5, 2012
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Things I will Never know
My grandma passed away Saturday morning.
It was weird, because she lives in Vietnam with the other half of my aunts and uncles. The majority of my grandparents died at a younger age, where I did not really know them so it was easy on my soul. My grandma lived to 90 and I was able to visit her once when I was six and again when I was 22.
I never spoke with her much but she loved me. She loved me in a way I will one day understand but not today.
This death was incredibly difficult because of web technology. My father woke me up at 6 am and we set up a webcam with my dying grandmother. Somehow they knew she was about to past and they contacted my father to give him a moment to say his final goodbyes.
The connection was faulty but there were moments when I could see my grandmother. Her face was emaciated and she had been bed ridden for 3 days already. They said she hadn't moved in the last 2 days, but she reacted to my father's voice. My father said his final goodbyes and he cried. My grandmother started to cry as well. He said as he was moving his hands as if he was stroking her eyes closed, "Go now. Everything is okay. Your children have taken care of all the arrangements. Go now. You don't have to worry. Go Now."
The time was 9:50 am on our end when we hung up so everyone can go to sleep on their end. Ten minutes after she passed away. Somehow she was able to hold on to hear the last words of her children.
I do not know what she means to me, my grandma. I may never know. I am of her lineage and she has sculpted my parents who have sculpted me. Her legacy will live on, but I hope one day I will discover what all that truly means.
Watch over us Grandma. Thank you for everything. And let Dad live to 90 too. I would very much appreciate that. Mom will be fine either way. I fear she will live to 110.
Comments (11)
My sympathy to you and your family. It is good that you visited your grandmother, and that she will live on in your memory.
So sorry for your loss. I hope as you do that you are able to deepen your understanding of her legacy that carries on in part within you yourself, in time...take care.
I am sorry for your loss. I wish I more comforting words to say, but I'm no good with that stuff.
My sincere condolences for your loss. Technology is a wonderful thing, but I don't know about using it in that way to extend sadness. I think the people at her bedside mean much more than a globalized webcam transmission. Personally, if I couldn't be there in person, I would rather be told of the event by a loved one rather than be associated with it at a distance where I can't do anything.
"Mom will be fine either way. I fear she will live to 110. " Just for that, she will likely outlive all of you.
I am sorry for your loss. my deepest condolences.
=( that made me cry, to read that she held on just enough for your dad and how hard it must be for your family to not have physically been there.
hope you find the comfort and peace you and your family needs
Heartbreaking. I am so sorry for your loss.
I was thinking about life and death earlier today on the bus. Remember how we were talking about Shakespeare the other day? Or rather, I was talking about Shakespeare and the sonnet that ended with "thy eternal summer shall not fade...so long as men can breathe and eyes can see, so long lives this and this gives life to thee." With our every action, a particle of our energy, a piece of our soul, is released into the universe. Your grandma's energy, her love, the impact she made on the world, her children and grandchildren live on and carry her legacy just as you said. Your words have immortalized her.
I almost cried reading that, and at the end it made me laugh. <3
@eternal_relevance - @MariaBoscardin - @ms_coco - @Unbounded_Thoughts - @Shopgirl0393 - @ed408 - Thank you guys. Your kind words and stories do let me know I am comforted.
@SoullFire - Yeah. It was great for my dad though. He told me he was really happy after that. At ease and peace, but my mom really cant outlive me. That would be too much lolz
*HUG* It was particularly difficult for me when my own grandmother passed away.I hope you've been feeling better since your grandnana's passing.
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