April 3, 2013

  • choosing

    "i  love him and i know he is capable of more, but if he is not capable of more with me, then i dont want him." - rumi

    i have said it again and again, and we choose the love we think we deserve.  in essence,  we are living the exact lifestyle, have the exact career, and look the way we are because we have chosen to be these things.  we have either accomplished to the point we have desired and settled or we have determined this is the best we can possibly be at this given point in time.   

    i have this other friend.  i have blogged about her much, and she the only female friend that i am on edge with.  its not that, she is amazingly hot and it makes me second guess the witty words that are going to come out of my godsend mouth. no, that is definitely not the case.   she just doesn't put up with any of my shit.  if i am late for a hangout,  she is pissy.  if i cancel plans on her, she invoke the wrath of three legions on me.   and it works.   she gets my best, but at a cost.  i don't like to spend every moment with her and i can only take her in for spurts at a time, but the moments we do spend are planned in the way she has desired.   

    its that choice right.   that risk you are willing to take to get what you want from people.   and my friend rumi is willing to give this guy up and not settle for the crumbs.  she wants the whole cake or nothing at all.  she knows her worth, and if he is a smart guy he will recognize it.

    there is this saying i have heard once, but i dont think i fully understood. i am starting to understand.  "you can have anything you want in life, if you are willing to pay the price."   you want to be that boss tycoon entrepreneur running a start up in sf.  well say goodbye happy hours with friends, the safety and prestige of working that corporate job, and even family time/gf time.  you want that god like body, well put down that 5 dollar cupcake from sprinkles, say no to that new ramen shop everyone is trying, and truck your ass to the gym after that ten hour work day. i am learning in life you may not be able to get everything, but you can get the things you are willing to pay for.  that sacrifice i guess. the blood, sweat, and tears -- in other times.

    my friend rumi is a smart girl.  aged with wisdom and seeing the world for what it is.  she has set her priorities in motion and she is paying the price to get what she wants.   

    we either choose to life by design or a life by default. and trust me, the plan the world has set in motion for you already is a pretty shitty one. 

    choose to be happy.  choose to live.  ante up bitches, three months have passed into the new year.  i gotta keep paying my dues. i gotta keep paying that price. 

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