February 22, 2013

• Xanga Love Pt 2

  It really is no secret who my favorite writers are.  My writing has been changing and as I work on my craft, it is starting to sound a bit like their voice.

  You start to sound like those you surround yourselves so it makes sense to me how this may be occurring.

  The following would be my own renditions of how I think they write some of these people write.

  I don't write as sharply as as he does with his clear cut direction on how you should live your life.

  • "It is one way or another.  You can either have what you want in life or you can sit there and cry about how the other guy got to go home with the prom queen.  Sack up, hit the gym, and learn a pick up line or two.  If you want to bang the prom queen, you can't be standing against the wall like a little pussy wishing things were better.  Get it!  With the attitude you have, a fuckin' Lambo couldn't help you."  

  I am not as reflective as she is.

  • "I should not have called him, but I did.  Maybe it was the hour of the night, the second glass of red wine swirling in my hand, or the fact that I have not been on a date for so long. UGHHHHHH! I remind myself I am young and ambitious and still have much of the world to conquer before I even settle down. Who does this guy think he is with his charming smile and immaculate resume that would impress any Asian mother."

  I don't make love and even the end of love sound this beautiful.

  • "It was the way she would lay there naked with nothing on, but my white bed sheets  covering everything but her face and the side of her leg.  She would say, "I can never be completely under the sheets. I get too hot and I feel trapped."  The irony of those words will be more than relevant in the coming moments.  I knew this would be one of the last times I would see the dimples on the small of her back or the tattoo she got when she was 17, that she swears very few people have even seen.  Was I lucky or was she, for we have ..."

  Haha.   I hope I did these writers some justice, but I have enjoyed their writing through the years profusely.  I do not sit there and analyze their writing, but overtime I have been getting comments that my writing has changed and is reminiscent of some of my favorites.  Thank God, because I honestly think I use to write like shit.   Word vomit would be the best word to use here or maybe stream of consciousness.   Honestly, I free write completely and have too much attention deficit .... lets go ride bikes!!!! I hardly edit my passages and hope that my first draft is good enough.  Grammar is not my strongest suit and my use of commas are like chopsticks in the hands of a white man.  They are being used, but not with ease and not in the right way.  

  At the end of it though,  the writing still needs to be mine. 

  It would be the voice of a dorky, pimply, young boy who grows into a man with a penis so large that if he sent you a picture of it, you would be strolling down for days, a man that will one day make Petitetokio his ex-wife not because how successful he becomes, but he learned to become the Asshole 3.0, not only capable of shattering your dreams and not your ego, but taking your soul with it, a man that will use these jars of hearts and write stories of moment after moment of how even in the midst of heartbreaks, there was ethereal beauty which will bring the next wave of souls for the taking, that even in the breakdown there was true, satisfying love.

  Time will tell and life is more than grand.  I will delight in my current marshmallows, while holding out for what the world has to offer.  

  My voice is a medley of all these other voices, with its own distinct sounds and emphasis.  I hope in the end my true voice will be able to shine through.  

  Note: Just kidding about breaking your heart PT, I would never do that.  <3

  • 4:42 pm
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