August 27, 2012

• Giving Up

  Yoga is something I really really enjoy.   The peace and pain it brings me is what I enjoy.   I love that it pushes me to be more flexible and stronger, but I know sometimes I have to hurt and push my limit to get there.  I am usually pretty decent and push myself all the way through, but today was a rough day.  The poses were held for long periods of time and it focused on leg strength, a part of the body I fail to work as much like most guys.  I felt my knees buckling and shaking and I hated it. Usually, I focus on something else. I focus on my breathing, four seconds in *breathe* and four seconds out.   

  Today was a bit different.  I focused on my weakness. I knew my legs are weak and I failed by acknowledging it.  I allowed myself to be weak.   Next, I started focusing on the pain.  It hurt so much.  I lost sight of why I was doing this. I wanted to become more flexible. I wanted to have a stronger core and a more balanced body.  This is the only cardio I do all week anyways.   Nonetheless, I gave up and I let myself fall to the side.  The problem was the moment I tried to get back into it, my body kept failing.  I had created an opening, a weakness that my body so readily and happily enjoyed.  They spirit is willing but the body is weak.

  I believe relationships are the same.  Sometimes things with your significant other is picture perfect and you are growing with one another, complementing and grooving. There are struggles, but you work through them and you continue to grow.   You have an idea of the person you want to become with them along your side.  There is a goal or a vision that you see for the two of you.  Sometimes its simply marriage, and for others its measurements of success, a certain size house maybe or number of travels a year.  Getting yourself there with this other person would delight your entire essence.  But with all stories and situations where two people with their own inadequacies and short comings are brought together, there may be some problems that are harder than others.  Given the right timing of these problems we may even want to give up. 

  In yoga as in life, when you give up its a choice.  You tell yourself what you are going through now is not worth the pain you are going through.  This could be for a job, a tennis match, or anything.   The difference I see in a relationship though, is when one side gives up, you just hope the other person you have been running the race with is willing to hold on and pick you up.  They are there for you when you were too weak to carry on.  Both people give their best all the time. Sometimes one person will be pushing harder than the other, but thats okay.    And sometimes I won't be able to give it my all, and I hope the person I love and am holding can hold me up in the moments I am weak and want to give up.  Because what we are working on is more than the current moment.  We are working for something greater.  

  I stood there focusing on the sweat that was running down my face and my knees that were crying for mercy. My body lies to itself.  It tells me I am too weak to get through this.  It tells me that I do not really want better health anyways.  It tells me I can make up for it next week.   If its abs I want, I can just eat less in a later meal.   These lies compound on one another.   I drop again and again.  The work out is over.  I could have endured.

  Time to get into Savasana, the corpse pose.  I lay there still and allow my body to regenerate as I meditate on the lessons yoga has taught me today.  

  How will I view my challenges?  How can I prepare myself to never to give up? 

  If what you want is worth it, never give up.

   

   

  • 3:13 pm
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