July 24, 2012

• Keeping my head down

  everything to me is a distraction at times.  people are dying all over the place.  riots in la or somewhere in socal.  people being shot in movie theaters while they are just trying to get away from the monotony and lack of adventure in their own lives.  believing in heroes to save them only to be put in a situation where only heroes can save them. i am too weak to read the stories of heroism and how daughters took bullets for mothers, how boyfriends gave their lives to girlfriends, how children who have not yet to be born shared the fate of their mothers,  how one woman escaped death once only to be greeted by it once more.  I have no words.  I don't want to talk about gun control. I dont want to talk about the justice system and how he might claim insanity and get off. I dont want to talk about his race and how if he was muslim, white, black, yellow, pink, buddhist, christian or anything else and how that would have played into it.   I can only walk away echoing the words of anne frank.  I believe in spite of everything people are still good at heart.  And you have to.  

  But I keep my head down for another reason.  Not only out of respect but i have my own agendas.  My own story i am working to unleash to the world and if i dont focus i might falter.  I might miss my cue for my next jump or my next hop or skip.   its horrible to say, but i am learning more and more this thought is creeping into my mind. i dont like it and i believe my parents are the one that have pushed it on me the most.  at the end of the day, no one is going to take care of  you but your family.  forget about the government, your neighbors, or even your closest friends.  you honestly have to put yourself higher on the rungs of society to protect yourself.  I want to make it and i need to just focus on that and that alone.  everything else is a distraction.   

  but what matters at the end of our lives.  nothing really.  those sitting in those seats had dreams.  they worked hard and life is what it is.  

  i dont know what i am saying, but relationships do matter. and not only do they matter to me but i want to be able to not only be able to spend time with my friends and family at any moment i want, but i want to experience the world with them.  i want to say stupid shit that we only dared utter when we were in elementary school. i want to buy out the block in a neighborhood so me and all my best friends can live together. i want to travel the world.  i want to fly to the moon with them.  i want to buy my family and extended family everything they would need.  i want a wife that can paint all day if she wanted to or a wife that can take over corporate america. I want a wife that could be mayor of the ninth biggest island in hawaii because we own this piece.  

   

  

  Push and pull, side by side, all the way to the top. Family is what we do it for.  

  • 4:10 am
  • 10 Comments