the lines on your body more distinct
and clean than the white powder
nicely drawn on the mirror, reflecting
more than the joy we felt
as we inhaled each moment
you laid there, eyes rolled back
body stretched out, a canvas waiting
for me to stroke my words and feelings and dreams
into you,
onto you,
to you..
we breathe in deep, drawing every last ounce
of joy, bliss, salvation
before we end collapsing into
One.
for you @l0311879l -> fight the good fight
"Did you get any flowers this year for Valentines?"
"No," she replied sheepishly.
"Here. This is for you. I couldn't have you go through Valentine's without getting any." I handed her a single yellow rose with a red ribbon hidden under my sweater.
"Thank you. I have something for you in the car too," she smiles.
And when we got to the car, I couldn't keep my hands off. I could not believe she gave it me right there in the parking lot.
She had baked me cookies! Cue the music. ♪Can't keep my hands, my hands, my, uh, my. Can't keep my hands, my hands my hands out the cookie jar.♪
Now mind you. Although from my Instagram photos you would thing I am a porker, I do not eat unhealthy at all. I usually only eat half of my meals and I never snack on things that are unhealthy. Very rarely.
So when she gave me these cookies she told me one thing, "The only thing you have to do is tell me they are delicious."
And they were not! These cookies were kinda dry and the size of each cookie was uneven and simply not appetizing. They were decent at best. So what did I do the next morning? I texted her,"The cookies are amazingly good. Thank you for the treat."
To this she let me know that it was sweet of me say that, but her mother gave her some real feedback and she said the next batch will be a lot better.
But here is the thing, I really like the cookies. Not because they are delicious, but because she had made them and thought of me. These cookies may not be the best, but to a degree, they were made with a bit of love. So here I am sitting in the middle of my work day chomping on these overly sweet, nutrient-lacking cookies and I love them.
Is this how it starts? Is this how it will begin again?
Picture shown does not represent the cookies she made. FYI.
Addendum: If anyone ever shows you my blog, I want you to know dear that writers sometimes exaggerate for effect. Muah! 
"I think I like you."
"That's unfortunate. I think I like you too."
"That is indeed unfortunate," he smiles.
"In the Stanford Marshmallow Experiment, young children were promised two marshmallows by a researcher. The researcher presented them with the first one straight away and told them they’d get the second as long as they didn’t eat the first before the researcher returned. The researcher then left the room for 15 minutes. A few kids scarfed the marshmallow immediately while a minority held out for the second.
The children who held out did so by forcing themselves. They turned around and covered their eyes, they tugged at their pigtails, they kicked the table. Some even “stroked the marshmallow like a tiny stuffed animal”. Long term studies went on to show that the children who were able to do this, to delay gratification and wait for the second marshmallow also turned out to achieve more in life.
The conclusion was that the ability to delay gratification correlated with more success in the long run.
However I think there’s a second conclusion. It took 15 minutes for the researcher to eventually reappear and for the remaining children to receive their second marshmallow. The girl who held out, spent 15 minutes of her life tugging her pigtails, waiting anxiously for a marshmallow. Meanwhile, one of her other friends got a marshmallow immediately, left the experiment 15 minutes earlier and got back home in time for dinner and playtime.
Sometimes we have to force ourselves to stop living with our eyes covered and our backs turned, stroking our dreams like stuffed animals while we wait for a sorry marshmallow. We need to just eat the one that’s in front of us and enjoy it."
Good girls are hard to come by and I am in the process of lining my ducks in a row. My friend said it best, "Commitment means not doing things on the side, it means dedicating significant time and energy to the single task of building something great. Ignore all distractions, no dating, parties, eating out... Fuck, sometimes even taking a shit feels like a waste of time." And what is that thing I am currently building? It is not a startup like my friend, but I am currently building up myself.
That is the thing with people that are always working towards the future though. They never know how to enjoy the present, and its true that it is a great thing. One day these people will be building the empires we live in, but there is something to be said about enjoying the moment. Timing is the key. When do you enjoy and when do you delay gratification for something better?
The words are out there. Do we wait and build a stronger friendship and have more time for ourselves to grow as individuals or enjoy the moment?
Eff it. Marshmallows for all! OMNOMNOMNOM. Eat the one in front of us and enjoy it!
me: Alright, that is all the wisdom you will get from me right now. You will have to bribe me with hugs for more later.
Her: lol fine
This is how you get girls, huh?
I see your game
me: hah, what is my game?
Her: You're very flirty
me: I like to use the word friendly and outgoing, but sure.
Her: You set situations up so that the girl can walk into the trap instead of having you go in for the kill right away
me: I like to say I am easy going
Her: You're very charming
me: that i will take
THANK YOU!
Her: Would you say you're good with the ladies?
me: i would say i am good with people
i like connecting with people
Her: Hm i see
Would you say you have no problems attracting females then?
me: i think i fair better than the average guy
but i dont think i can attract any woman
Her: I see
me: do i interest you
u must meet a lot of people here and there
am i any different than the rest
Her: Yes, you're very interesting
You're a lot more appealing than most people i have come across
me: hah. what is it exactly if u can try to wrap ur hands around it? I am curious what is appealing. Maybe i will accentuate it further to win more hearts.
Her: It's just your personality in general and the vibe you give off.
It is almost addicting. You are like the light moths are attracted to. You give off this warm
Friendly vibe
No negativity
me: i have the biggest smile on my face. thank you.
I was fixing my resume the other day, and adding a couple of things that make me look good.
And other things of that nature. I had my friend review my resume and she asked me a very critical question. What was the result of all your actions or the time you spent here at this company at this role?
It made simple sense to me but this was a bit of an a-ha moment for me. Companies hire people because they produce results. You see, so many of us are doing the right things, but we are not getting anywhere or we don't focus on results. And its not to say that we are doing the wrong things and we should stop and give up, but we should reevaluate the ways in which we are doing it.
One easy example is weight loss. I know this one girl that runs 2-3 hrs a day at the gym every single day and still looks like shit. I said it! With all that work she puts in to look the exact same, it is a waste of her time if her goal is to simply lose weight. (Hyperbole is the word of the day. She is moderately cute.)
My advice to her is "You can't outrun a bad diet." I have told her this, but she thinks she can prove the world wrong.
It is that simple. If she was working out to just keep her weight and check to eat, my one other friend I call this working towards equilibrium, then that is fine or as I like to put on Instagram #iruntoeat, but this case is different. She is always talking about getting super fit and toned, but she is not willing to really reflect on her progress. If she focused on her results, she would know that she simply has to modify a bit more of behavior just to get where she wanted.
So my future xanga resume will look something like this. No more blogging for shits. I want results damnit!
I am looking at you @petitetokio and @scriptament. Please break my heart and write about it.
Joking aside, this is the year. And it is doubly the year because Chinese New Year started yesterday. So if some of you have already failed your goals and gave in to those delicious Girl Scout Cookies, you have a second chance.
I wish you guys all the best on getting the results you want this year. Chuc Mung Nam Moi!
The two of them had just walked 25 steps away from the rest of the group
It had been a great night with steak, wine, martinis, and mojitos
She had been the guest of honor, the plus one, the friend for the night
The friends had been speculating if the two were dating
What a great girl, they continued to whisper to him through the dancing and merriment
He did not know if they were staring as he grabbed her hand and gave it a slight squeeze
The presumptuousness of his hopes were rewarded as she returned the squeeze favorably
They continued to walk towards the car not caring to see if anyone was watching
The combination of drinking and their continuous flirting through the night peaked
As they turned the corner he grabbed her in close for a hug
They linger -- he slipped his hands behind her jacket to firmly grab her back
As he continued to hold her close and breathe softly in her ear
Her head is perfectly creviced in the side of his shoulder
And what feels like forever begins to pass
She kisses his shoulder and turns her head towards him
They hover their lips in front of each other and the sweet smell of alcohol
is now sweeter off her lips than it was in the glass
Their lips continue to dance and tease each other as the two have through the night
The moment passes and no one dares to go in for the final kiss
The single moment has passed
They continue on, not mentioning it to another soul
"I can't invite another guy over to my house and shake his hand and not know if he has fucked my girlfriend. If I was that guy, I would be thinking to myself that I have one - upped this chump. He does not even know that I slept with his girlfriend. I have to know."
I had this conversation with another friend. And I am not surprised that Van has done her due diligence and has read all of her current Fiance's facebook messages and has pretty much screened the friends he may have in his life. It is not that she has stopped him from hanging out with old female friends, but she has voiced her feelings about them and Won has been able to keep her happy.
And maybe I am the silly one that wants to hold onto old friendships and continue to indulge in the things of the past. Maybe it is me who is too sentimental for my own good. My thought process is there are very few good people in the world. Not good in the sense of a good person, but I am talking about people that are ten times the friend than any other friend. These are the people that go above and beyond for you and the people you can always count on. These 10x friends more often than not were the what ifs and could-have-beens.
"Because at one point in your life you thought this girl was good enough to be your girlfriend, best friend, or had the potential of being your wife. Why lose that and the years you have learned from each other and give it all up so your significant other can know if you dated or not?"
But we want to be honest with the ones we love and we want to let them know who we dated, who we once flirted with, and who we have had more than a cuddle with. This information comes at a cost, because things will never be the same. We won't be able to invite these people over and these friends, because our current lover would not want to see the face of the person that we once were intimate with. And they would never want to see the face of the person that holds us so dear in the world and you the same to them. And no laugh will be exchanged between the once girl of your dreams to the new girl you are entering a new life with.
I am silly. And maybe I don't like the idea of wasting time or losing out on all those years with my female friends. And maybe I am not ready to let go or maybe I have dated one too many of my closest female friends. And maybe its me because every girl in my life is someone I would date if the stars align. Maybe the line I draw between female best friend and wife are too close.
There are risks and I am not saying to have every person you have had once in your life to have them there again. Some girls and some guys are straight up dangerous and you know that you should not be hanging out with them outside of "group settings." And I am not unwilling to give up certain friendships, but some things are definitely buried in the pasts and those moments are gone. But I guess when that new girl comes along, even these things will change and maybe my thoughts on this will change too.
I don't believe knowing makes us any happier. I rather not know. That's just me and my type of crazy.
Friday night. Starting to have a thing for tattoos.
Did I tell you that the anthem of the year was dreams?
For a good friend told me that when we were young we would dream of the impossible
and as we got older we have forgotten what it is like to believe in the world
and more importantly believe in ourselves. That we who are but one
can do immeasurable things if we simply believed and acted on the passions
and true cares of our souls. So I will have to apologize in advance for my struggles
because as I push myself into the uncomfortable and my arms begin shake
and my body is about to give, do trust that it is not weakness that you are seeing
but strength forming. See, I was born without a silver spoon and yet I have always
always demanded and wanted more from the world. Where did I get this sense of entitlement?
Lets pretend that it is completely God-given. That I deserve this moment that it was given to me
for a divine purpose. That I am not here simply by happenstance but rather this moment
has and always been mine to claim. And not for myself as Solomon desired wisdom not for
his own vanity, purpose, and pursuits of world domination, but it was a request so that he may better
be a steward for his people. And so in this moment, let the suns, moons, stars, and even black holes
align, because there are moments when enough is enough. When men rise against their circumstance
because they have desired more. I overlook the audacity of my parents to leave what they have known
risk life, limb, and sea to come to this great country, and I already being here can not even leave my desk.
What fear do we have? So I will shout it once again as a declaration to hundreds of people I respect on this space
that this is the year of dreams. We have squandered our dreams of lamborghinis into supped out civics,
we have given up our goals of greek god-like bodies and have settled for the reflections we see before us today,
and we have given up our ideals of changing the world to reposting videos and articles of social change on facebook.
We are the lost generation, No purpose or place. We have no Great War. No Great Depression.
Our great war is a spiritual war. Our great depression is our lives.
So while the world may vent and give up on the ridiculousness of our pursuits,
It would be more ridiculous living this life unlived.
Two thousand thirteen. Come at me bro.
I signed up for a creative writing course at Mission Community College so I can become a better writer. Class is fun and it is near a plaza center and my friend Jess and I got dinner beforehand.
During roll call, I wrote down the names of the three prettiest girls in the class. Creeper much? The cutest out of the 3 looks like she is 20 at best, but she is Asian so she is probably 22 right? I will have to find out. And the other two were alright at best.
Sadly though, the prettiest girl in the class is the girl sitting right next to me. Yes, its my friend Jess. Fawk life.
Oh yeah, I took this class to write better and not check out girls. You dont understand. I work in contract manufacturing. Went out with my coworker today for lunch and she was old enough to be my mom. These were her words!
Hopefully my writing does become better from this and hopefully some cuter girls add the class next week.
One can always hope. Apparently, that was at the bottom of Pandora's box. I never knew that until @flashlivesforever_29 left a comment on one of my other posts. Now I know.
"We’re never more beautiful than when we’re most ugly." -Chris Albani
Watched his Ted talk in class. Simply amazing. Humanity is restored a bit through this man's stories.
Being Vietnamese is a blessing at times. I do not know how it is for other ethnicities, but being Vietnamese there is a certain level of trust and loyalty we have towards each other. I work with another program manager at one of our facilities and we let each other know of inside information and prepare each other for when shit is going to hit the fan. We share honest opinions about the people we work with and really try to break down the understanding of how to act around certain people.
Some people at work should never be trusted and some lessons are just better not learned on your own. She has been around the company for 5 years and knows a thing or two more than me. Its a good thing.
I learned this lesson when I was ten years old on ethnic relations. Vietnamese people should and will look out for your own.
I grew up in government assisted subsidized apartment housing. Being a child of refugee parents, during that time period there were many Vietnamese children that lived at this apartment complex. These were some of my favorite memories as a lot of the kids that grew up here still remain to be friends until this day.
One day we were playing tag or something in the middle of the street and a couple of my friends and I had some cans of coke in our hands. One of the kids threw his really high in the air and caught it on the way down. I was never an athletic kid and even today I am still working on that ryan gosling photoshopped look. Well seeing how cool my friend was I attempted the same feat. I threw the can of coke high in the air, but I released late and it arced behind me and fell into the windshield of this white lady's car and smashed her window.
There were at least 10 Vietnamese kids that saw. We ran over took the can of coke and wiped down the windshield because the can exploded a bit on the window and we all ran.
I never got caught for this.
If you can't trust you own, what is left in the world?
#vietnamese #thuglife #childhood
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