"Today i had i really great day. Even though i did absolutely nothing and i didnt even spend a single dollar.  I laughed the most i have ever laughed for a long while. It feels really good when you can just chill with friends and do nothing, laugh, and have one of the greatest time of your lives.  There is no need for stupid movies, golfland, or bowling.  Just Friends. Friends is what keeps people from suicide." -March 2003

Going through the god-forsaken process of making all your entries private.  It is a process, but I am seeing it positively and seeing what I can take from my experiences of the past.  In a way your philosophies and essence doesn't change.   I still think similarly to how I thought in high school even though it was 7 years ago.  Some things have changed though.  I use to be very rich in high school.

Climbing towards 6 figures and I am becoming  poorer and poorer by the minute.   My 17 year old self knew the things that truly mattered in life.  But that is the great thing about people.  We can change our mindset  and change our trajectory in a single moment.  #lovinglife

I wondered to myself.  What would life be like to win the lottery?  At first I got really excited, but the the thought of 400 million dollars after taxes scared me.  I worried about the horror stories of brothers trying to kill them for a bit of the inheritance and family members and friends turning against you for the money.  And then I thought to myself that I would have no idea how to spend and reinvest such a large sum of money.   Would I need to hire a bodyguard to protect me from getting robbed?   And then I thought to myself the biggest fear, what would I do with all my time?

We have this illusion that if we had all the time and money in the world we would really pursue our passions:  save the world, spread Christianity, fight for social injustice, or just paint all day.   As I thought about all the money I might be winning that Friday, I realized that I would not do a lot of those humanitarian things that I always talk about.  Would I really go on missions trips into third world countries and spread the Good Word of Jesus?   Would I really try to make a difference for homeless people?

My friend questioned if she would even go to law school anymore.  My point in all this is that I realized that money does not really allow you to do what you want.  We are doing exactly what we want to do right now.   Work, family, and school are just excuses we make for ourselves of why we really can't pursue our passions.  And that was the moment I was free.  Why am I chasing these things I have no use for?  What really matters to me?  This all reminded me of the story of the Fisherman and the Businessman.   

Why do you get up in the morning? What is your purpose? 

I won $13 on my ticket. My friend sucks, but we are sharing the winnings.  

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Its been 4 years.  Four years since I seriously took up blogging.   It was not a means of popularity for me or to whore myself out, but it was a place for me to empty my thoughts. Some thoughts haunted me with the ghosts of my pasts.  Some thoughts I believed I needed to write down, because they would make me successful one day.   

I admired so many people on this space.  You guys do not know how much you guys have shaped me and moved me forward.   For some of you, your writings is absolutely brilliant.  You guys are able to paint stories and weave emotions that relate to the human soul.   

There are a couple of people I want to highlight:

@passionblame is one of them.   Our friendship sprouted from me leaving her 4 years of comments.  I seriously left her an uplifting comments for 4 years.   She realized that was too much effort for a guy to just want to get in your pants so she decided to have lunch with me 2 years ago and we have been best friends since. 

@npr32486 is a guy that we all love on xanga.   He is a great guy in many ways and we have been friends here for about 4 years now.   It started when he was still on the East coast and he came to visit once and we went to get some authentic vietnamese food.  He moved to SJSU and we hung out quite a bit last year and we even worked out together every day almost for 3 months straight.  That was honestly when I was in the best shape of my life.  We dont necessarily always have the time for each other, but i hope he knows I love him as a brother.  He has helped me fight the good fight in so many ways.  

@yosho.  He is like one of the big brothers I never had.    This guy alone has slept with half of every asian girl on xanga.  He have really guided me in my relational maturity, online swag, and even real life swag.   There are just some people that you can see yourself having a relationship with.  At his prime he could throw some crappy words onto a blog and follow it up with a sexy asian picture and get 50 comments.  There are some things you may not know about @yosho. Besides having a ten inch penis, he is also cofounder of multiple startups and an entrepreneur.  He has been teaching me how to navigate this new trail of business and success.

@daniel.   This guy can make love, romance, and broken hearts sound more beautiful than anything.  He has a way with words that makes me want fall in love again no matter how hard it is at times.  He is the other big brother in my life and has taught me all I know about growing up and being a man.  He consistently reminds me that although it may be fun to run around wild spreading your seeds, I am in the best position of my life with Becky right now.  I can't wait to see the girl that he gives his heart to.  

@Luv_u is a down ass chick who is always there for you.  Nowadays she is too busy traveling the world making people look pretty on their wedding days.

@petitetokio .  She is honestly my xanga crush.  If i had to have one girl that I was allowed to take out on a date and my girlfriend let me, it would be her.  I think it was her writing.  She demonstrated her witty humor and her ability not to take shit from certain people.  It is the way she wrote about her family and her not so petite sister.  She seemed to travel and seemed like she understood something of the world and saw something that I have never seen.   And there are a handful of blogs she has written that I love.  Maybe its also because you can never see her face in any of her pictures so i thought she might be very very pretty too.  Haha.   SHe finally added me on facebook as a friend too! After liek a year of pending.   SHe only has 6 other people that I have mutual friends with on xanga so i know she is super selective and i am glad i am one of them.  Maybe after this she will think i am a creeper and defriend me, but thats okay.   I have already saved all her photos on to my desktop.

@firda and @consignedhearts111 . You two girls give me a totally different view of life.  I have never had a Muslim friend as close as Firda and I do not know another girl whose life is more crazy than @cosignedhearts11 You guys are always so nice to me and you treat me so well. I am glad i have been able to share late night talks with the both of you and grow with you guys in many ways.

I been wanting to do this. I been wanting to tell some of you how much you mean to me.  I believe in life we don't take the time to affirm those around us that has made a difference in our lives.  I know we are hear on this blog writing about ourselves and our problems a lot of times, but for the ones that reach out to each other, care, and leave comments of love, it really does make a difference in my life.  Your philosophies and experiences have become a part of me.  And I thank you for taking the time to canvass those words upon this forum so that people like me may read. 

PS I would love to get shitfaced with @mr_jin_tonic one day.  

And this is so me. 

HAHAHAHAHHA! My goal this year is to have 200 birthday wishes.  I know. Last year I had about 140 or so.  Its the small stupid things in life that make me happy.  

Boy:  There was a boy and a girl that grew up together.  They where never were attracted to each other growing up, but sometime during their high school years they fell for each other.  It wasn't the perfect scenario when they got together.  

High school drama you know.  A bit of boy meets world meets the real world meets days of our lives kind of drama.   Heh.  Maybe not the days of our lives, but when they finally got together it was perfect.  They were what you call high school sweethearts.  They were everything to each other and people really saw them going far as a couple.  

They were both ambitious and smart.  They both got into great colleges but not the same one.   They would have to be long distance.  They both agreed that they wanted to really grow during their college years and not have a relationship hold them back from exploring and meeting new people.  They told each other if the stars were to align they would find each other after they graduate college.  

Fairy tales come true sometimes and right when they were graduating he proposed and they got married.  Amazingly, they waited for each other all through college.  It wasn't their intent but no one came close to what they meant for each other.  Without being restricted by each other,  they both continued to grow and at the end of it freely chose to come back to the familiar arms of a high school sweetheart.

Girl:  Amazing.   Maybe that can be us one day.  

Boy: Yeah....

He told her the story knowing full well that he wished it could be them.  Amazingly he made up the story on the spot.   Truth be told he wished he could have cast all his eggs into one basket.  Betting it all on her.   That they could make it through their college years dating each other doing the long distance ordeal.  He knew he was not willing to commit.  He had too many ambitions and the risk of dating so close of a good friend was something he did not want to mess up.

Girl: SMILE! We will always be great friends!

Boy:

And great friends they stayed. All through their college years, through new girlfriends, and new boyfriends.  Their story was not what they had imagined, but it still is a very good one. 

One day their kids may be friends.  And maybe they will date.  The story will continue. 

1) Have 5,000 friends on Facebook:  1784/5000  Maximum Limit

2) Have 500+ Linkedin Connections:  334/500 Maximum Limit

3) Have 5000 followers on Twitter:  50/5000 Small Goals Lead to Bigger Goals

4) Sleep with 10 Girls from Xanga: 2/10 Impossible to Finish in Current Situation

They say in life its not what you know, but who you know.  Having more connections just opens that many more doors in life.

PS: I am lying about the 2 girls I slept with. Or am I?  You should ask @luvs_u and @petitetokio.  Alright I lied. They weren't girls, but they were still Xangans. It was @daniel and @yosho. Sorry wuwu. 

21 Days to Happiness

1. 3 gratitudes
2. journaling
3. exercise
4. meditation
5. random acts of kindness

"Not necessarily the reality that shapes us, but the lens through which the brain views the world that shapes your reality. If we can change the lens, not only can we change your happiness, we can change every single education and business outcome at the same time." -Shawn Achor

Picking up rock climbing. Second time this month.  Happiness <3  Great friends.   

Its the rhythm of her speech. The pauses she takes in between her words.  The moments she likes to react to your words.

On the busy commute home, I usually open up my phone, skim through my contact list, and see I have not caught up with in a while. I find it more valuable to catch up with an old friend than to listen to the top 40 being played on the radio on repeat for the last month.   

We talk about work and life and the things keeping us busy in this phase of our life.  She recently got a boyfriend.  Its been a year for them now.  I have never interacted with her really with her having a boyfriend.  She was always single during our college years.  I wonder how much different it would be seeing her with a boyfriend.

T:  It's different, ... you know.  He makes me ... crazy sometimes.  He use to date around a lot.  YOU would know.  But he has changed.  He is not the type of guy to expect anything from you that he would not do himself, ya know? How about you?  How are ... you and Becky?

D: Very good.  She is studying for her OATs and we been dating now for almost 2 years.

T: You still hang out with other girls?

D: Of course.  We have a lot of trust.   She is a very confident girl and we know we would never date anyone else even though we have the options of other people.

T: You should both go on Google Latitude so you guys always know where each other are.

D: Well that wouldn't really be trust.  Knowing everything the other person does and where they are at all times is not trust.  Knowing that they are with other people but choose you at the end of the day is trust to me.

T:  So she knows what you are doing and you tell her everything.

D: More or less.  She knows who I am with and what I am up to but I don't bore her with the details.

It makes me wonder. If she and her boyfriend have each other on Latitude so they know where each other are at all times.  I wonder what crazy things they ask each other to do.   I can imagine a girl telling me to stop hanging out with my female friends and pointing to the fact that she does not hang out with her guy friends anymore.  It would be only fair she would tell me.  She would cry to me and yell at me of the sacrifices she is willing to make for me that I am not willing to make for her. I love this friend T of mine and she beats to another rhythm.  A rhythm that just isn't mine.   

Becky and I are perfect for one another.  She is a person of quality that will continue to grow in beauty and strength.  She has tons of guys that she meets all the time that love to spend time with her and find her amazingly cute and funny.   These things remind me of why I love her and to never take it for granted that in this moment of time I can call her mine. 

For myself, I am a guy full of wit, charm, and an illusion of depth. I have the ability to connect with people and be dependable and solve peoples' problems.  Because of these things and my ability to be a connector/life of the party, there is never a shortage of female friends on my list as well.  But even with all these choices, I choose Becky at the end of the day each and every day. I choose to become a better man because of her.  

To me this is true security and trust.   But love makes us all crazy sometimes.  Not judging anyone.  We all beat to a different rhythm.  It just so happens my rhythm and Becky's sync, align, and resonate with one another.  For that, I am glad.

We gon' hunt me some 'dem honey badggers.