February 5, 2013

  • Knowing

    "I can't invite another guy over to my house and shake his hand and not know if he has fucked my girlfriend. If I was that guy, I would be thinking to myself that I have one - upped this chump.  He does not even know that I slept with his girlfriend.  I have to know."

    I had this conversation with another friend. And I am not surprised that Van has done her due diligence and has read all of her current Fiance's facebook messages  and has pretty much screened the friends he may have in his life.  It is not that she has stopped him from hanging out with old female friends, but she has voiced her feelings about them and Won has been able to keep her happy.

    And maybe I am the silly one that wants to hold onto old friendships and continue to indulge in the things of the past.  Maybe it is me who is too sentimental for my own good.   My thought process is there are very few good people in the world.  Not good in the sense of a good person, but I am talking about people that are ten times the friend than any other friend.  These are the people that go above and beyond for you and the people you can always count on.  These 10x friends more often than not were the what ifs and could-have-beens.  

    "Because at one point in your life you thought this girl was good enough to be your girlfriend, best friend, or had the potential of being  your wife.  Why lose that and the years you have learned from each other and give it all up so your significant other can know if you dated or not?"

    But we want to be honest with the ones we love and we want to let them know who we dated,  who we once flirted with, and who we have had more than a cuddle with. This information comes at a cost, because things will  never be the same.   We won't be able to invite these people over and these friends, because our current lover would not want to see the face of the person that we once were intimate with.  And they would never want to see the face of the person that holds us so dear in the world and you the same to them.   And no laugh will be exchanged between the once girl of your dreams to the new girl you are entering a new life with.

    I am silly.  And maybe I don't like the idea of wasting time or losing out on all those years with my female friends.  And maybe I am not ready to let go or maybe I have dated one too many of my closest female friends.   And maybe its me because every girl in my life is someone I would date if the stars align.  Maybe the line I draw between female best friend and wife are too close.   

    There are risks and I am not saying to have every person you have had once in  your life to have them there again.  Some girls and some guys are straight up dangerous and you know that you should not be hanging out with them outside of "group settings."  And I am not unwilling to give up certain friendships, but some things are definitely buried in the pasts and those moments are gone.  But I guess when that new girl comes along, even these things will change and maybe my thoughts on this will change too.  

    I don't believe knowing makes us any happier.  I rather not know.  That's just me and my type of crazy.  

    Friday night.  Starting to have a thing for tattoos.

Comments (9)

  • How I Met Your Mother makes it look so easy.

  • What matters is how the couple behave regardless. If it doesn't feel comfortable to let them know then why bother? It doesn't make sense.

    Being honest is one thing, THAT, however, is something else entirely.

  • I have seen females go bat shit crazy over the past and that is not how I want to be. Being that insecure helicopter gf is a hella don't. I like to keep things in the present because that's what's relevant to us now.

  • I also like the tattoo: it reminds me of the Spanish version of Shakira's "Hips Don't Lie." (Called, "Sera' Sera')

    I also like to live in a world of "deniability"--not denial. When there's a doubt, you can resolve in favor of more-noble virtues rather than the emotional muck and darkness that the truth often brings.

  • mmmmmm I don't mind telling Ken but Ken really doesn't want to know. 

    haha I'm totally okay with knowing his past, I like knowing his past . knowledge is power :P (right?)

  • it has been my experience that as we get older, friendships with members of the opposite sex start to become a hindrance to future prospects of marriage and companionship. 

  • I guess it all depends on how evolved you are.  I'm a pretty evolved man, so I rarely get jealous of other guys or my girl's exes.  Cause honestly, I'm with her now and I'm the one bringing her home at night.  While we all have our pasts, the present and the future are the only things that matter.  And if I do feel any negative emotions, well, that'll be resolved in the late night bedroom sessions.  ;)

  • I never tell bc I don't feel like I need to tell and I never ask bc I don't to know. Somehow I always know from the guy who they slept with. .. but I don't care bc that was the past.

  • meh, i don't care about exes. the present matters more, in this respect. some guys wanna know, and some guys don't. (I just dont want them to assume i have no past haha)

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